My little is 7 months old and I've been having dreams of being pregnant. My husband and I both had one last night. We had previously discussed waiting 2-3 years before trying again, but I'm not on birth control right now and we only use condoms. There are women out there that have had much more traumatic pregnancies and births than what I did, but it was kinda traumatic to me in some ways. I was extremely sick the entire 1st trimester, half the 2nd, and last end of the 3rd. I lost 12 lbs the first trimester and slowly gained it back and then was preeclamptic at the end of my pregnancy. I was induced and had to have my water broke (no epidural at that time) and was in active labor for 11 hours and pushed for almost 4 of those hours. My epidural only partly worked and I had 4 huge hot spots and basically didn't have an epidural on the left side of my body. Horrible experience with nurses threatening a Cesarean when I said "I can't" after they told me to push after I had been pushing over 3 hours. Had almost no help with getting my baby to latch and was forced to formula feed her in the hospital because I was told repeatedly the reason she had (borderline, literally 1 point) low blood sugar was because my milk wasn't enough. No complications and had an 8lb 11oz baby girl. We had to stay an extra day to monitor her blood glucose, but once we got home I was able to breastfeed and still do now.

I could detail more, but that's for another day.

Anyway, I get serious anxiety when thinking about being pregnant again, but at the same time my heart is telling me to have another baby. Maybe not my heart, but hormones, who knows. I just want to see what others think of having 2 under 2. My best friend had 3 under 3 at one point and at 2 she was tired, but happy. By 3 she was exhausted and has said before she really wished they had waited on #3, but wouldn't give him back for the world, of course. I get serious guilt when I think about my baby girl not being the baby anymore. Just a lot of weird mixed feelings. Please tell me of your thoughts of having 2 under 2. If we do start trying it could take a while because it took us right at a year to conceive our daughter with a lot of LH tests, BBT tracking and luck and prayer. We almost lost her early on as well and that scares me to death just thinking about going through it again.