I need actual support/advice

I feel really bad for saying this I love my son dearly I’m 5 months but I HATE his father

His father is a horrible person and I’ve been in denial for so long I ignored my messages I left for myself when I came to my senses

I was blinded by love so bad that I ignored the physical,mental, and emotional abuse he was putting me through he was my best friend for 4yrs before we dated and he was AMAZING

He took my virginity and throughout our relationship he forced me to have sex with him and if I refused my belongings got trashed or he refused to acknowledged me as a human being or he dehumanize me

He refused to wear a latex free condom (I’m allergic to latex) his family never cared about him and his actions towards me they stayed in their rooms while it happened while he screamed and destroyed shit

He was controlling with my money he used me to buy weed and food along with gas money and buying shit for him and his friends but he claims I never did shit for him

My adopted mother knows what he’s done to me yet she told me to stay with him she wants to marry him like he planned to marry me at one point I don’t want it I don’t like the anexity I’m claustrophobic when it comes to staying with him I feel trapped

He acts like an amazing and a normal person in front of everyone else but he’s not the person I fell in love with he’s not the person I met he physically scares me and I’m pregnant with his son and once again I feel trapped because I know he may fight and I don’t have enough proof of what he’s done besides my basket the messages I could possibly have are on Snapchat and I ss anything he’ll delete everything so I claimed I accidentally screenshot shotted a message when I was closing out and i did it randomly on a day we hadn’t talked for a while

Idk if this group is just for sexual assault I don’t necessarily going into details I’m not even comfortable with speaking up because I’ll always be told that it’s my fault when I’m in a court of men and even some women and I’m seriously mourning because my best friend died and became a monster the person who I had once planned a life with before the abuse and mistreatment I’ll never see them again and my son will have to grow up without his biological father

My thoughts are jumbled and I’m In conflict with a lot of things rn I just need a leveled and clear minded person to give me some advice

That image explanation has its own story but to explain in simple words I ended up explaining my mental issues and I told him I have d.i.d (dissociative identity disorder) ever since that day he’d been pretending he had it and used it as a persona to abuse me as himself and as another being he would say rude shit to harass me and guilt me into doing stuff