Ugh idk

Idk if i want to keep pumping or just stop. Because my son has cleft l&p I cant nurse. It sucks and is depressing to me becasue its all i want to do just like mu other 2 kids.

Pumping takes a lot out of me. Im so tired all the time. My boobs hurt. Feels like needles all the time. Last night I left a fresh pumped bottle out wjen i thought I put it in the fridge for later. Nope. Wasted. But guess what. I did that twice last night. I was that tired! Then this morning half awake trying to give my kids directions for their breakfast before we had to leave i spilled half the bottle i was in the middle of pumping all over me 😭 I am so tired I have messed up so much lately. My supply keeps dropping and everything. Idk if I can keep doing this as much as i want to for better benefits for him. (Plus formula is EXPENSIVE and having to drive 4+hr for his doc appts idk if we can even afford it)-which plays a big role in why im phmping and trying so hard. But dqmn dude idk if i can anymore.

Ugh just needed to vent and get this out. Idk what to do anymore.