38+1 and over it

FTM here and I feel so awful for saying that I want baby girl out but I do, my vagina feels like it’s been kicked hard by someone!! I can’t even move that’s how bad it hurts 😭 I’m assuming that’s her dropping lower idk but I’m in so much pain and not only does my vagina area hurt but my lower back hurts so freaking bad I can’t even shift my body anywhere without wanting to cry because of the pain!! I have a scheduled c-section next Thursday due to having 5 spinal surgeries and me not being able to have a naturally delivery because of that but I can’t help but hope I go into labor sooner so this pain stops 😔