So, I’m 18 weeks pregnant with pregnancy #3 baby #2 (first pregnancy was a miscarriage). So, my fiancé and I have been together going on 20 years and just recently started entertaining the idea of actually having kids. I’ve never wanted kids but he has always wanted three. So, I told him I was willing to have a child as a compromise because I felt he would make a great dad. My greatest gift to him would be childbirth—or so I thought. Shortly after discussing it we got pregnant and miscarried then the following month got pregnant and had a beautiful baby girl.

The pregnancy was complicated, I was on bed rest from 4 months, I was high risk and was reminded by medical professionals regularly that I was risking my life, had a very traumatic labor experience and resulted in an emergency c-section.

Fast forward 12 months, shortly after my daughters 1st bday I found out I’m pregnant again! Fear and excitement were my initial reactions and his was sheer joy.

Aside from the initial joy of finding out he’s going to be a Dad again he’s been grumpy, insensitive, and outright hurtful. I’ve cried literally every day of this pregnancy. From being told I don’t have feelings, to complaining “like (he) doesn’t have back pains too”, to I’m tired or hungry too. I’ve gone hungry, without sleep, and forced myself even through pelvic pain (I have endometriosis/adenomyosis/fibroids and so I have lesions and growths that makes things a little more painful this go round especially after having a c-section) to keep going to avoid being belittled or snapped at. I’m also still nursing my daughter so I’m super drained. I’m also anemic and high risk once again with the same risks from the first pregnancy.

He makes me feel so bad about myself for needing to take it easy or take a nap or even need time to prepare healthy meals. I’m just overwhelmed.

I keep trying to tell myself I’m being emotional because I’m pregnant but I’m really feeling like he’s just not being understanding and that hurts much worse... idk