Idk what to do 😭

I am first off in a long distance relationship last time I seen him was around Christmas time and I lost my virginity to him (we was talking a year before this) and when he went home everything was great started the whole sexting thing and then March hit everything went bad from there the arguments started cause he wasn’t trying to work he was ditching school (he’s in college) I genuinely just wanted him to be great I was trying to motivate him and instead of being that he called me controlling and toxic so I decided I no longer wanted to be with him we are attached to each other we are use to being on the phone all the time so that never stopped but I just wasn’t committed to him no more we still argued but not as much end of May we decide to get back together things are good until the end of June the arguing gets bad again we got in a argument around his friends about the fact I didn’t support him buying a gun I didn’t know I was on speaker so he felt I was making fun of him so he started telling his friends how stupid I am then hung up in my face that night he calls me apologizing I genuinely do forgive it cause when he’s with his friends he treats me different he allows them to disrespect me calling me bitches and stuff but I let it go how he’s coming the end of this month and at first I was excited but he brought up sex and tbh even though I was a Virgin I now think back on it it wasn’t that good I mean he cums fast he has no aggression about it his kissing was sloppy and he talk to much I told him this he was like Next time he’s just gone lay there and that literally killed my whole mood I am not even interested anymore I just feel he is just to childish for me I don’t know if I am losing feelings or idk 😭