Let me explain. Sorry if it’s all over the place.

I was in bed kissing this guy. He tried to take things further, I didn’t want too. I said no and knocked his hands off of me a few times. He kept on and kept on, eventually I was just kinda like whatever and let it happen. Now, I never verbally said anything other than no, I just stopped fighting it as he clearly wasn’t listening to me. At this point I would say that even though I feel weird about not yelling/hitting/etc, that it is considered rape.

Here’s the part I’m having trouble with. After he put it in it was at the wrong like angle I guess? So I used my hand to move it a little. I feel like me doing that makes it not rape? Because in a way I kinda helped him put it in right?

Also, the sex wasn’t bad. It honestly was pretty good? During the sex I did enjoy it and was an active participant, as in I didn’t just lay there. (I didn’t ride or anything like that, but I didn’t just lay there like a board).

I’m just really confused. I don’t talk to the guy so I guess it doesn’t really matter, but it happened two years ago and I still think about it almost daily and have bad dreams about it a few times a month.

I can’t decide if it was rape or if I just made a stupid decision that I regret.

Ethier way I do feel like i was taken advantage of as I was at his place crying to him about my husband that had left me and I was extremely unstable. I feel like at that moment even if I stripped naked (which isn’t how it went down anyway) he should’ve said no because if the state I was in.

I just don’t know what to consider it....