Living in her shadow

Its difficult being with a man who was with his ex for 15 years at times (from 16 and 14 years old). My husband's whole family grew up with this woman and she is very close to his sister. And my mother in law adores her, posted a photo of her just the other day on instagram "my sweet (name)". They dont know the bad parts of my husbands marriage to this woman because he never felt that was appropriate to share. I still at times have to tell my husband he doesn't need to keep double checking or getting this woman's approval! She will call him and keep him on the phone for over a half an hour not even discussing their child but her everyday life. They're pretty inconsiderate when it comes to picking up my stepson. I dont go inside and stay in the car with my child but some times i am waiting for over an hour! She doesn't bother to wake up the child or pack a bag knowing we are getting him at the specific time due to her work schedule. I stay in the car because its a big ordeal to go all 3 of us into her apartment where she is also getting ready for work. My husband invites me to come in but I feel uncomfortable around his ex wife. She also told my husband to get life insurance of 500k and have their child the beneficiary, this is just weird to me.

I know he loves me. And his mother does like me. Haven't met the rest of his family yet, but he thinks they'll like me. We were together in a different state and when we got me here coronavirus hit and we arent willing to risk everyone's health. I just struggle at times with finding my own place. Also how do I get more consideration for myself and our family we are building?