Today is a rough day and I am beating myself up.

At the beginning of the year I had set out to start my own business. My goal was to have it open by the end of 2020. I let my boss know ASAP in order to not feel deceitful as the business I am starting up is the same field she has her business in.

She was very taken aback and offended. She thought I would be with her business for forever and decided it was best to part ways immediately.

Understandable as I would be considered competition. I just told her my plans out of the goodness of my heart to look out for her and her business as we had a great relationship. I went to school for this business. She knew I would leave EVENTUALLY to start my own and that time had finally come...but she fired me as a knee jerk reaction. I understand this was a risk I was taking.

Well here I am 4 month into looking for a place to open (Covid slowed everything down dramatically) and I finally find a place. I work hard on a business plan. Hours and hours of researching the area, household incomes, crunching numbers, and giving projected income etc etc.

I apply for a loan, it took them 4 weeks to process the application. That’s 4 extra weeks of being unemployed on top of the 4 months it took me to find a location....and they turned me down.

I feel like a failure. They said the biggest risk was that I didn’t have an income. Which I understand. So now I am bitter I told my boss about my plans. If I still had a job my chances at a loan would be much higher.

Ugh!!! I hate this so much. I feel like I am failing.