Calorie Restriction? Keto? Paleo? Low carb?

Im just curious to those that have lost 20lbs or more how did you do it? I have done keto and lost 30lbs but after 2-3 months I spiral out of control and revert to old habits. So now Im trying to commit to a calorie deficit while eating whole foods or food thats are nutrient dense. Im nervous because I have had a keto mindset for so long but have finally decided.... its not for me because I cant stay on course.

Do you ladies mind sharing what you are doing and what hs worked???