Step parents: : do you treat your bio kids different than your step children?

Question

Wondering because my so told me before that he believes I would treat my bio children differently than his bio child. Yet I am a teacher and have been through hell and back helping him raise his child and create structure. When I was thinking about it I was like hell no I wouldn’t but then I got thinking. Obviously the rules would be different than my own children as my SO has let him run wild and swear and do whatever he wants for his life (8 years) 
As I would not let my own child do that and believe in structure. I think every child is treated differently but only to their individual needs but I would NEVER treat any child different in a negative way. I would not put my child over his child because I see both of them as my children. 
If that makes sense? Can anyone relate with me.

Answer

I'm not a step parent but I am a step child. My stepmom treated us differently to her kids BUT we were all loved very much. She was just slightly more protective of her kids when it came to discipline and that sort of thing. Wanted a little more for them, etc. But I have no doubts she doesn't love us too.

Answer

My fiancé’s daughter is 9 years old and lives in a different state. We don’t know each other at all and have never met, so yeah I’d say I’d treat her differently than my son. Not worse or badly, just different.

Answer

The only reason I could see myself treating our girls (two girls by my husband's first wife) different than our boys (from my uterus) is they're 10 years apart in age. It was very important to my husband and I, when we were dating, to find a partner who shares values and beliefs in child rearing. 
Unfortunately, his exwife doesn't have some of those values so the girls aren't as well mannered as we believe they should be at their ages but we don't treat them any differently. We just reinforce good etiquette.

Answer

Honestly, my stepmom treated my sister and I better than she treated her own kids. I honestly felt awful for her children. Her kids were rebellious and wild (which I blame on her parenting mistakes) and my sister and I were respectful and well behaved. She bought us gifts often, took us places with her and left her own kids at home, and just spoiled us. My dad ended up divorcing her and her kids don’t really have much to do with her anymore. It was a sad situation. 
I don’t have stepkids, but if I did, they’d be treated like my own. I don’t believe in entering a relationship with someone who has kids if you can’t raise them and love them as much  as your own.

Answer

My boyfriend has a 9 year old son from a previous marriage. Our son is currently almost 9 months old. I was always criticized because when his son comes to visit I have different rules at my house than he has at his moms. We have a bed time and we don't spend all day playing video games. I don't think he believes that I will treat them differently because I have made it quite clear that our child will have structure and rules. I do think that there will be a little bit of favoritism because my son is my biological son and we will have a stronger bond, especially since me and my step son don't spend near enough time together because his father and mother are shitty at co-parenting and can't get on the same page to save their lives. So we get his son less often than we should.

Answer

I think it depends on the context. How often the kids are with you, the age of the kids, etc. 
If you got together with your partner when your SO’s kids were teenagers for example (15, 16) and they only spend a weekend a month living with you, then coming in to ‘parent’ them exactly as your own kids might not necessarily be the best option and could cause some conflicts. You can still love them, respect them and have a great step parent relationship with them but it might be a different relationship. Your SO might take more responsibility for the discipline side of things for example.
If your SO’s kids are much younger and they live a good portion of time with you, you would naturally be more involved in day to day parenting tasks and build that parent relationship.

Answer

I feel exactly the same about my step daughter as my biological kids. I do treat her a bit different as she’s 8 years older and only with us on every other weekend, so she doesn’t have regular chores etc. Also my husband does any discipline she requires, unless she did something dangerous and he’s not around. I let him manage that, mostly because of his ex though not because I feel I can’t.

Answer

My step-mother treated my sister and I differently than her bio children, but we didn’t live there full time. 
My step-dad had 3 adopted children before he married my mom and he treated us all the same, but we lived there full time.

Answer

I’m not a step parent and don’t ever want to be but I think I’d probably treat any potential step child a bit different than I would if the kid were my own. I wouldn’t treat them badly but I also would feel a bit weird about what my place is and how to proceed when it comes to discipline and other decisions to be made

Step parents: : do you treat your bio kids different than your step children?

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