Is he cheating? I apologize, it’s a bit long

This is my 1st time reaching out

So idk how to feel. I feel like I should leave my bf but I have no proof of him doing anything, just suspicion. I love him and I know I’m his main one for sure. Before you think anything, hear me out first. We do everything together including trips. When we’re not together, we talk on the phone almost all day. But there are times I feel that he’s acting weird or different. For example, he always calls me in the morning around the time I wake up while he’s at work and also during his lunch. He didn’t call me this morning and he stopped calling about a week ago during his lunch. Today I called him during the time of his lunch break. Note: he always answers even when he’s busy and if he’s busy, he’ll just say “hey I’m doing __” or “I’m with __, I’ll call you later.” Normally I wouldn’t freak out if he doesn’t answer because i know he’s at work but Today he didn’t answer and called me back 5 minutes later and said, “sorry I was with my homie having lunch in his car” like what?!🤨 he always has lunch by himself or with his boss or coworker and he’ll tell me “I had lunch with my boss” or he’ll say their names. Not once has he referred to anyone from work as “homie.” And all his “homies” work and not in the same area. But even then, I know his homies and he always tells me a name. He’ll say “my homie __” or he’ll just say a name. I didn’t say anything though but my tone of voice changed and he said, “what’s wrong, why do you sound sad? Is there something you want to tell me?... Like 3 little words?” I haven’t seen him since Sunday, long story short, I have kids he hasn’t met yet and I have them on the weekdays so we only hang out when I don’t have them. So he was referring to “I miss you.” So I said it and he said it back. Like 2 min in, he had to go back to work so that was that. I feel like he knows I suspect something so he’ll make sure I know that he loves me and misses me. He finds a way to reverse my mind. I know there’s a high school friend that he just reconnected with. They talked as “friends” and I wasn’t against that but I’m not sure if they still do and I have a feeling they do. And she is the type of girl that thinks “I can take your man if I want to”. She has sent him a picture of her in her bathing suit. The day they saw each other after years, I was with him, she went over with a huge smile on her face, staring at him, gave him a huge hug and didn’t acknowledge me at all, didn’t even look at me. He was caught by surprise not knowing who she was (because she was wearing a face mask). You could tell in his face that it was unexpected. She told him who she was and left just as fast. So he didn’t have time to react. I feel like I’m his main one and he knows that I’m his future but he’s messing around with her just for the thrill or for an ego boost. He’s told me he wants to meet my (2) kids already but I can’t unless I know We’re each other’s future for sure and he’s not gonna cheat on me. I can’t confront him because I have no solid proof and I’m scared that if I say something, he’ll get upset and want to leave me because I’m over reacting. And please don’t say “if you don’t trust him, leave him” I trust him it’s just lately he’s been acting weird since this girl came along and I feel like if there is someone else, he’ll eventually stop it before it gets too far. I’ve been wanting to tell him that if I ever find out that he has someone else, that I’m gone. Should I ask him about lunch today? Who he was with? I have a feeling it was her. But like I said, I have no proof. Idk what to do 😭 I don’t want to leave him but I feel that I should or at least make him think I am and maybe then, By his reaction to that, I’ll know what he wants. I’m so scared to find out he’s cheating 💔 am I setting myself up for heartbreak? I’ve been heartbroken so many times before. I can’t bare to go through it again.

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