Reposting for more help! Confession about my crippling anxiety - Teen Post -
Hello everyone. I was diagnosed with severe anxiety and OCD a few years ago. I am also on the autism spectrum but I am high functioning.
For the past year, my life has been a living hell. I developed the fear of pregnancy.
I am scared to wear certain materials because I am terrified that sperm can get through them, even if im just sitting down somewhere or going out.
I am terrified to wear certain clothing and materials around males because of this fear of sperm and the fear of getting pregnant.
I am scared to wear shorts, leggings, thin materials that feel to ' breezy ' due to the thinness, ripped jeans especially if the rip is up on the thigh or near the vagina.
I go through my pants everyday, the pants that I have deemed safe, and check them for even small tiny holes. I do this with my panties as well.
Usually when I go out I have to wear two pairs of pants. Leggings and jeans or leggings and cargo pants just to feel safe, then once I get home I have to wait 2 hours before using the bathroom in fear of there being sperm on my hands or somewhere on me, scared ill introduce it to my vagina and become pregnant.
I am terrified to be around my boyfriend, I am terrified to be around any male. Im scared for my boyfriend to cuddle me or touch me or even put his hand on my butt or thighs due to this fear.
I have to wear certain clothing or else I will have a panic attack about becoming pregnant. I am SCARED to wear certain clothing because of this fear.
I do see a therapist but I am looking to change therapists, this therapist is absolutely crude. They tell me " Anything is possible so just don't worry about it. "
Do you know how much that scared me?
I have been wearing two pairs of pants daily for a year.
I want my life back.
Can any of you please help me? Educate me? Tell me some facts?