I feel so lost. I love and care about my boyfriend but I don’t feel loved, my needs aren’t being met and trust me it’s not like I’m asking a lot. He watched our son for 30 minutes today while I showered, took out the trash and did the dishes. It’s like that pretty much everyday and I have talked to him about it. We are in counseling now but he made me upset this weekend because we live in AZ, have a 4 month old baby and baby and I just got over the flu but my bf made plans before he asked me if it was okay that he went out on Friday with his coworkers go to a restaurant and then crash at their place. If times were different and I knew these people, i wouldn’t have a problem with it. But the fact that I get very little help with our 4 month old baby (we just got over the flu too) and he needs a “break” really frustrated me because I’m trying to stay home as much as possible right now just to try to protect our health as much as we can. I asked him if I could drive him but he said no they will pick me up. Anyways idk where he went last night. My baby and I went and stayed at a hotel because I didn’t want to deal with him when he came home drunk (he is mean to me, one time he said fuck you) today he told me that we “shouldn’t talk until counseling” so he hasn’t said one word to me. Here is the list I put together while at the hotel.

Positives:

- Have parents that are together.

- Financially stable

- Full brothers and sisters

- Wouldn’t have to work full time

- Counseling could work

- Baby isn’t in daycare as much

Negatives:

- Come home to an unhappy home

- Barley any help with Baby

- Arguments everyday

- No help with cleaning or picking up

- Get ignored

- No complaints

- Being made fun of when you’re emotional

- Feelings don’t matter

- Broke up with me over text

- Has called me nasty names

- Mean to me when He is drunk

- Makes me feel as if my feelings/I’m crazy

- No encouragement

- Constant attitude/sarcasm

- Doesn’t put the health of our family first

- When I cry he says “here we go again

- I have to ask for help, he never offers

- Puts me down all the time and turns arguments on me

- Baby will think this is an okay way to treat women

It’s hard to forget about the past when the pile just keeps on growing, it’s getting too heavy. I don’t need nasty comments I just wanted to vent. I am trying to decide what is best for all 3 of us and I’m very sad so please don’t say mean things. Can anyone else relate?