I had my first baby 4 months ago, and it was an unplanned c section. I had a pretty hard time accepting that I didn’t get to have what I always thought of as “normal labor”. I cried many times because I feel like I was robbed of this moment of pushing the baby out, having my husband cheering and supporting next to me, and just feeling like I took the easy way out. Don’t get me wrong, it was NOT easy! The c section came after over 30 hours of labor, but I feel like I didn’t actually “work” (by pushing) to bring the baby into the world.

I finally made peace with it. But today my friend had a baby and hearing her stories of pushing made me feel a bit sad about it again. I am sooooo happy for her, I truly am! I was hoping she would have a natural birth because I don’t wish my labor and delivery experience on anybody! Just part of me is scared I will never get to experience true labor and I will always have to be sliced open. It just feels like my body failed me :(. I feel like a failure... and now I feel horrible for even having those feelings.