boyfriend? when? long distance relationship?
I’m 19 and all chances I had are gone. I basically had 2 cases with 2 guys. None ended up becoming my boyfriend. The first one made me feel like the best person on earth and then ended up having a girlfriend while talking with me and asking me to get intimate with him (yes, he’s a player and definitely not a keeper for any girl, I’m literally sorry for the girl he’s with even though they seem to have the best time of their lives together after he stopped talking with me). The second one makes me feel even better than the other guy, and we are even more compatible, but we can’t be together no matter how much we both want to because he doesn’t want a long distance relationship. This makes me depressed because we are a perfect match and we would have so much fun together. He showed me a couple of red flags though, I won’t lie about it. eg. He replies very late sometimes, he complains about his phone not receiving my texts immediately, he blocked me a couple of times so that “he could fix his phone”, he doesn’t have a Facebook account and he posts nothing on his instagram. But always talks to me as if I’m his favorite person, always shows to me that he craves a conversation with me, and generally never made me feel like shit. He said he’s willing to wait 3 years for me to finish my studies and come back to have a relationship with him. I try not to focus on his red flags because I’ve had some myself, I told some lies in the past (just because I was scared of meeting some stranger online and telling him private personal information), but I told the whole truth at the end, immediately once I felt comfortable.
Through these 3 years I might find someone though, and he might find someone too. Also, this dating and getting to know each other process is so tiring and time consuming. I went through it twice, it erased 2 whole years of my life and I’m so over it. At the moment I felt that I found my person, it ended up badly in both cases. It’s so exhausting, and I’ve stared losing confidence. I literally can do it, I can stay loyal and focus on my studies for these 3 years without looking at another guy, but it’s a risk. He has to guarantee to me that he’ll do the same. That once I come back we will 100% work out together. That’s a huge risk I’m willing to take and I know it sounds like a dumb move. If we had a long distance relationship it would be even better. We could find an hour every day and video call, I could spare some time for him, tell him about my every move so that he can stay calm that he know what I’m doing and with who I am. But it seems that he isn’t sure if he can also be that dedicated and loyal. That’s another red flag I think...
I don’t know why I made this post, I guess I’ll take opinions on what is best to do. I’m a bit lost, but I’m super motivated to organize my life and begin my studies with a fresh mind. I’m open to your thoughts ❤️