I've been an amazing girlfriend and wife 😡
I feel like I've wasted my life on the WRONG MAN. I've done everything for him since day 1. It's been 3 years. I have been an amazing girlfriend for the first few months and then even a more amazing wife after that. You see, we aren't even married. I've been his 'unofficial wife' since the early begginings of our relationship. We moved in together after just 2 months, after which I practically became a SAHM (I love being a good housewife), and I too go to work 8 hours a day! I cook multiple times a day for him, clean, do laundry, mop, wipe, vacuum, iron his clothes, EVERYTHING. He even gets daily blowjobs, sometimes multiple per day. He is very critical of everything I do, he has never appreciated a fraction of how much time and effort I spend taking care of him. I'm always caring about him and his needs, if he had hard day at work I'll surprise him any way I can. I've been the one planning our dates, buying his gifts, planning holidays. I've been the one sacrificing absolutely everything in my life for this man. I am ashamed of myself.
I've always thought that karma works both ways, and that not only should you never do to others what you don't want others to do to you, but that you should do things for others that you want yourself. Like if I'm over here spreading positivity and working my ass off, that life will also spread positivity in my life. Aparently I'm in the wrong.
He has forgotten my birthdays, our anniversaries, Valentine's day, Christmas. He hasn't forgotten the dates, just failed to realize that he should do anything about them. If I want something done for a special date, I plan and pay everything even buy him a gift. Then cry when I feel worthless because aparently I didn't deserve anything. We have talked about everything and he has failed me even after. Our anniversary was last month, I booked a holiday, payed for it, cleared his work schedule and I packed us both. I even got him multiple gifts because that's the type of person I am! Not only he didn't buy me anything (NOT EVEN A 1$ CARD), he didn't make up for it after I told him how much that hurt me (since he promised to make this years anniversary special for me).
I get sooo jealous over others about the smallest things. Like how someone calls someone to check up on them because they just miss them. That's what relationships should be like! I cry because he never calls me or texts me. It's like he forgets I exist. Or how others ask how's your day been after they came back home from work, I don't even have that. Or how others apologize and make up for wrongdoings. Like if a man hurt you or made you cry he not only says sorry, but goes out and buy you flowers. Or how they compliment you on your appearance or anything. I forgot what a compliment was.
He neglects me and criticizes me. He's never put effort into pleasing me in the bedroom or even if I ask or beg he'll come up with an excuse, but he has to have his needs met. It's been so long since my last orgasm i forgot what it felt like.
I'm so ashamed of myself. I'm done feeling worthless. I'm done thinking he could see how amazing I am and start treating me like he should. It's his fault for being selfish and cruel. It's not my fault for being too good for him.
I'm sorry about my rant. I'm done feeling worthless because of him. Thanks for reading ❤