So me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 2 years now. I’m 20 and he is 43... most of the time we get along but there’s a lot happening that really bothers me. So the first 9 months of our relationship he still had his babymama/ex living in his house which was ALSO his work so he was there every day. They have 3 children together 2 four year olds and one 5 year old. Finally 9 months later he moves her out but only because circumstances changed and he had to not because it was for me. A few months goes by and on my birthday I see messages of her telling him to stop making passes at him. But he denies it and for some reason I believe him deep down I really don’t want I act like I do. well the next month I find out I’m 6 weeks pregnant but lost my baby at 10 weeks. At first he was really nice and thoughtful and comforting he cake with me when I had to have my d&c. The next week I had to go back to the hospital because I had an awful infection and I was in the worst pain of my life I couldn’t even move and my fever was very high. They had to do another d&c. I was in the hospital all alone he was ignoring me he wasn’t even opening my messages finally he answered and said that he was hanging out with his children that are ALIVE. When we first lost our baby he said we could try again and he really wanted to but now he says he was just telling me what I wanna here and he just wants a girlfriend that will be nice to him but I just don’t understand how I’m not nice ???That hurt so bad especially because I was already very sad and depressed. Also he lives with me in my apartment. He doesn’t help me pay bills. He never has not once maybe an electric bill every once in a while. I’m not allowed to be around his children I have to hide when they are anywhere near me. He says I can’t be around them until I’m nice to him but I’m not even mean or so I think. In the beginning of our relationship like the first 9 months before his ex moved out he let me around them every single day but she found out that I was around them and started threatening to take them from him. Then when it was their children’s birthday he went and stayed in a hotel with her out of town and said she wasn’t coming but I found out after he got home. He’s cheated on me multiple times when we first got together. I just don’t understand what’s wrong with me. Why am I staying with him when I know he treats me so bad. It seems like when I’m actually talking to him about how I feel he makes me feel stupid and I really start thinking it’s my fault I start thinking what can I do better. He screams at me very loudly when I get emotional or start crying. He calls me a baby and immature. He sometimes laughs at me. I’m so confused about everything I don’t understand what’s wrong with me. Sorry i know this is all mixed up and out of order. There’s so much more to it. Someone please help me. I’m so depressed and I feel so alone