Hard time dealing: Rant!

I know so many people that have kids, but they don't deserve them. They did drugs and drank alcohol the entire time they were pregnant. Or they just collect governess assistance as a reward for having a child. We are financially stable and could afford to have our baby. We have a place to call home on our own. No food stamps, no housing, no government assistance what so ever. Neither one of us use drugs or have a drinking problem. We are faithful to each other and to God. I just don't understand why!! Why did my baby have to be taken?? Why did I have to find out that I was pregnant if I wasn't going to be able to see or hold my child. Watch my child grow up, see the different milestones. Hear my baby's first laugh, see its first step, and everything else. I've spent my entire life since I was 9 raising other people's kids. I just wanted my own, someone to love and raise on my own. I'm terrified of trying again bc I'm afraid to get the same outcome. I know that everything happens for a reason, but I don't understand the reasoning of this. I know that yes, I can always try again, but does that mean that I should grieve and want for my first child. Yes, I know that I shouldn't question God, but it hurts, it hurts so bad. I just wanted my baby, I wanted him or her so bad.