I am 17, 18 in 6 months. I live with my dad, grandma and granddad. They are very negative towards sex and masturbation, and our family goes by sexist rules that only apply to the girls of the family🙄 My grandmother is SO nosey and cant keep a secret at all, about anything. I ordered a dildo a couple weeks ago, a small one since I've never had sex before. I keep it hidden under my underwear in my drawer. I keep wondering if someone has gone snooping in my room or looking through my things, that used to happen when I was really young, my grandmother and my aunt would read my diary and stuff, there was nothing in there but basic things and maybe a crush I had at the time! There are no signs of anyone going through my underwear, nothing is out of place but still.....I'm a little paranoid.

I'm a virgin, I've had boyfriends in the past, a few of them would come over my house but I dont plan on having sex anytime soon but I still like to do what I do by myself, usually at night when everyone is sleeping or if I'm alone in the house. Is it wrong for me to have a dildo while still living with them? I feel a little shame and guilt towards it even though I know I'm technically not doing anything wrong? Advice and support please