I’m stupid, I know. This is all super toxic, I know that also. My boyfriend has had a reputation for cheating ever since high school. I ignored everybody and got w him anyway. Of course it wasn’t long until he cheated on me. We broke up for a while and ended up back together. It was perfect in the beginning the second time around but of course he only cheated again. I gave up friends and family to be w him. I wanted to minister at my church and lead the youth, of course I wasn’t able to do that bc I decided to move in w him premarital. I pretty much lost who I was in my religion also bc I thought I could change him and we would be okay. He just kept doing it. I have anxiety and abandonment issues. I don’t like when things change. I feel like I can’t leave him bc of those things. I don’t want to change my whole life again. I use to be super hurt when he would do this to me and now it’s to the point where I don’t even bother telling him that I know bc I don’t want to talk about it and hear the excuses. I’m considering talking to him and seeing if we can live together but just as friends. I don’t want to lose him but i also don’t want to be cheated on anymore. If we’re just friends maybe it won’t hurt so badly when I find out he’s cheating. I know I sound crazy but I have no where else to go except back to my parents and my step dad hates me and doesn’t want me there. Is there anything I can do to change him at all? Why does he do these things and why doesn’t he love me enough not to? I’ve done so much for him. I gave things up for him, help pay his bills, helped him buy a car while mine doesn’t run half the time, and just throw all my money away on him. He’s barely done anything for me and gets mad when I ask him to even buy groceries. Is it possible to still be in a relationship w him and be w other people? Will my hurt ever go away? How do I get over him? I know I sound crazy but I really feel like I can’t be without him, I have no where to go, and I feel like nobody else will ever want me.