How did your marriage change after kids?

Question

Did your marriage change after kid(s)? In what ways? Good or bad? Not talking about postpartum depression period .

Answer

Nope. I think it shows a lot of the others personality & what they can handle though. In many ways I thought my husband was going to help way more & he doesn’t, but that doesn’t change our marriage or how I feel about him. Some people see their S.O true colors once a baby comes, some for the better, some worse!

Answer

I had both my children before actually getting married.
Nothing has changed.
Now we have a piece of paper that’s stashed away somewhere.

Answer

I was concerned about this with our first. We have been together 12 years (10 before we had a kid), married for 5 years this oct. I had a bit of a traumatic birth with our son and lost a lot of blood. I think it put things into perspective for my husband just how much I went through with our son and appreciates me as a mother. We have always had a very respectful relationship, open conversations and honest with one another. The only stress it has added is financial but again, we intentionally have open conversations about our financial situation/goals/expectations. There are days I’m annoyed because he didn’t do x, y or z. But he makes up for it the next day with something else. I am sure it’s the same for him. My intention is to operate equally and he does the same, let him do him when he wants to hang with friends (he does the same when I want to). I make more money in the relationship by about 2x, but it’s our money and we make the decision on spending and savings together. We have bickering every now and again, which I think all relationships have. But we have never lost respect for one another especially after having our son. If I’m feeling some way, I express it (like I need him to take our child for a day so I can get a break). He is way worse at doing that but I pry and get it out of him so I know where I can support. Sorry, that was a word vomit of things. Honestly, if you haven’t had long term conversations around finances, parenting choices, etc. I feel it could get complicated. But there are always resources to help! Just try to keep the respect.

Answer

Changed for the worse. We are currently doing couples counseling. We argue a lot. He never spends time with me.

Answer

Definitely added more stress. We lash out a little more in the middle of the night when we're both stressed and tired and our son is screaming. But it has also strengthened our love!

How did your marriage change after kids?

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