About a year and a half ago I was trying some things out with my at the time boyfriend.

He asked if I could give him head and I had wanted to try it out but I was really nervous and wasn't really feeling comfortable.

I told him that I wasn't ready and expressed that I didn't feel comfortable, that I was nervous, and I didn't want to do it right then.

He would say things like it's ok just try it, dont be nervous, I know you want to,

Things like that

I never said straight up no but even aster I tried it, I said I didn't want to do more and he encouraged me to do longer and said that it wasn't long enough or that I could take more.

This happened a few others time after.

I never really liked giving head after that because I always felt pushed.

( Keep in mind that we were both 17 and he showed me porn as well )

Recently even though we have been broken up for over a year now, I've been having weird dreams, flashbacks and such and I'm not sure what triggered it.

I have never been able to come to terms with what happened because I just thought it was normal