Did I take it too far???

Question

Okay, so I've been anxiously thinking about baby's arrival during this pandemic. I have a very opinionated family. I knew my plan wouldn't go over well, so I thought about it for some time before making it known. I sent this to them today, because although there is time I don't want them to feel I sprung this on them last minute. P.s. I said no kids because my nephews are always sick it seems. Always sneezing without covering, wiping boogies on hands and clothes... just gross... but I do love them lol! 
This is what I sent in our "Girls Chat" with my mom and 4 sisters...
Okay ya'll I've been thinking about after birth! 
Reminder my due date is 12/5 but both Ni and Torren came early so I'll let yall know how I'm feeling so you can start distancing if you want. 
Baby regs...
1. No kids other than ni and torren can touch or go near the baby 
2. Everyone has to wash hands and have clean not worn outside clothes on to hold the little one
3. No kisses
4. 2 week quarantine prior to meeting little one. (I'm iffy about this one but I think it would be safest for the little immune system) that's why I want you to start while I'm still pregnant lol
Responses were 
Mom: have you lost your mind?
To which I asked which part and she responded 1-4...
My older sister who has my nephews agreed with 2 and 3, but said her boys can touch the babies feet when they wash their hands, and everyone wear face masks instead of quarantine.... 
Thoughts?

Answer

I’m in MA and a coworker who just had a baby was told by her OB and new pediatrician that anyone who wanted to see the baby needed to quarantine for two weeks before hand. At this point, that’s what I’ve told our families to prepare for. Or a negative COVID test within 72 hours. Ask your dr/midwife what protocol they suggest you follow. Sometimes family can be more tolerable if it comes from a medical professional.
Also, it’s your kid. You don’t have to justify yourself or give in to what they want. They don’t get to tell you what COVID protocols you should or shouldn’t implement. You’re well within your right to protect your health and your baby’s health. There isn’t enough research on COVID and infants and as a new mom I’d try to avoid anything that might land me or the baby in the hospital.

Answer

I get why you sent it, but I think lists just come off poorly. Especially over text the tone can be lost.

Answer

I personally feel my family will act similar when my baby girl comes around 12/25.
In my opinion as the mother of this baby, what you say is what should go. If I sent this to my family and they replied that way, I would say something like this:
“No, I haven’t lost my mind. I’m having a baby in the middle of a pandemic. It is my job to protect him/her, and these are the regulations that I feel will best do that. If anyone wants to be around the baby and meet him/her, they need to follow these regulations in order to keep him/her as safe as possible.”
For my husband and I, if someone doesn’t like the rules we set, then they just won’t meet the baby until things in this world are more under control. No mother wants to bring their baby into a pandemic because of fears of the baby catching the virus, but I think the regulations you have set are good ones. 
Just don’t worry about pleasing everyone. As long as you feel you are doing what is right for your new little one, then everyone needs to respect that.

Answer

I probably wouldn’t have sent this via text; I probably would have had this convo face-to-face or over the phone.

Answer

My son was born in January and no one has met him, i have another due December 7th and again no one will met him 🤣

Answer

Girl no!! Lol your doing fine. Iv already told my family they won't see her until after her checkup and even then I don't know. They agreed it sucks but it's also my baby. Do what you need to do. Your giving them a chance they can either take it or leave it.

Answer

Completely reasonable to me! My mom would act the same way I bet. She was never pregnant during a global pandemic, though! They just don’t get it.
Do what feels right for you and try not to worry about the opinion of others!

Answer

Good for you!! It’s so hard to set boundaries with family, but during a time like this you have to do what you need to do in order to protect your baby. We are going to require a 2 week quarantine for whoever watches our toddler when we have to go to the hospital for baby #2 (due 12/13) and then I’m going to require anyone who comes to visit (probably just grandparents at this point) to wear a mask in the house, which we already do anyway. I’m not sure I want to let anyone hold the baby and there will be NO kissing or face to face snuggling for sure. I feel like a crazy person sometimes, but I honestly don’t care. I’d rather have a healthy baby and give family time to get over whatever part of this plan offends them. 
Good luck getting them on board!! And seriously, good for you for setting boundaries. Better to do it now!

Answer

I had rules like this when my first was born and there was no pandemic. A baby doesn’t have an immune system for germs that young, I don’t know why families don’t understand that. You do what you need to do to protect your family and if it pisses people off. It’ll piss them off but at least your little one will be safe

Answer

I think it’s your baby and you can make the rules! But I know how hard it is when people question your judgement. My fiancé is totally lax with all things covid and isn’t concerned in the least bit. We talked last night and I told him with regards to visitors we would be following the pediatricians guidelines whatever those may be. He told me that his family (lives 1000 miles away and would be traveling by plane) would be seeing the baby ASAP after birth and if they couldn’t then my family (lives 10 min away and I’m exposed to them very regularly) couldn’t either. I told him that’s absolutely not going to be the case so that should be fun when that happens lol. I’m hoping once she’s born his protective instinct will kick in like mine did as soon as I found out I was pregnant.

Did I take it too far???

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