Am I wrong to be upset?

Question

During the lockdown I gained 30+ pounds, even though I ate clean, exercised daily (at home) and did some minor cardio, it's just that my body is used to a lot more exercise, I put on weight easily and have a hard time losing it which I've done my entire life. Anyway, I booked (and payed for) a weekend getaway with my boyfriend for our 5 year anniversary. He knows how strict my routine has to be both with food and exercise in order for me to stay at a healthy weight. The trip is for a weekend in which I plan on eating exactly as I do at home (I'll eat oatmeal for breakfast, chicken salads for lunch and dinner) and we plan on staying active, sightseeing, hiking etc, so it's not a problem for me.
Well, he suggested for us to take an entire week, food touring around the country and trying out different burgers, pies and ice cream. I told him that I'm sorry because I can't emotionally afford that. I am already obese, and getting back on track for me seems impossible at the moment because the weight keeps going up even though I just started getting back into my old routine. Just the other day I had a breakdown in the car after the gym (he was with me) because I've gotten so fat my workout clothes no longer fit me.
It's not like I'm being a bitch, I cook for him: burgers and pizzas and pastas all the time, I just eat differently than him. I do have an ocasional cheat meal, but any more and my weight spirals out of control. It's not like I am doing this on purpose.
Am I being a bitch for thinking that he doesn't take my needs into consideration? Like him planning additional 5 days of A FOOD TOUR is not in my best interest at the moment. Also, he doesn't enjoy me at my current weight, it's not like it doesn't bother him as well. He's made some comments, and has almost completely lost his sex drive. Which is a different problem for a different post.
He got mad at me and left the house. Did I overreact or does he need to be more supportive? Am I wrong for wanting more support from my partner? Please tell me what to do!
I know I'll eventually get my body back. It will take a long time and a lot of effort on my part, but at the moment I feel horrible.

Answer

Do you have a medical condition that makes you gain weight?  Because if not, then I’m confused how you are clean and exercised daily and still gained 30 pounds. Maybe try to see if there’s a health issue and then address that root medical cause instead?

Answer

There's no possible scientific way you “ate clean and worked out” and gained 30lbs none, doesn’t matter the body, that’s not how science works, you were undisciplined and now you’re looking for a fall guy to blame, you will never lose the weight if you aren’t honest with yourself, not trying to be mean I’m being a motivator, not gonna BS you like the other girls on here will. Whenever we give half assed efforts in return we get half assed results, ALWAYS, hard work doesn’t lie, people do! Be honest with yourself.

Answer

I would ask for a compromise of doing the weekend away now, with hiking and activities. Then next year, do a food tour when your weight is more stable. 
I would be really upset if my husband were mad about this. How can your boyfriend complain about your weight (huge red flag there) and then in the same breath be upset when you don’t want to do a food tour for a week because that won’t benefit your heath. Your heath and mental wellness need to be a priority right now. 
I think so many of these comments are mean and unhelpful. It is absolutely possible to gain weight while still “eating clean” and working out. I went from moving all day at my job to sitting in front of a computer all day working from home. That in itself was a big shock to my body and I gained weight, while not changing anything else. 
I would consider what you determine “clean” to be because as I mentioned in a different comment, there are hidden sugars in so many foods. I’ve had to eliminate many foods for this reason. Tomatoes, peppers, carrots, and basically all fruits are super high in sugars and therefore, carbs. These all make me gain weight. I also have a body that just cannot naturally process grains so I went from eating oatmeal to eating eggs. That made a huge difference!  I would also mix up what you’re eating daily. Your body gets used to foods and stops responding after awhile. So if your breakfast, lunch, and dinner are the same then after awhile you’ll stall out. Intermittent fasting also helped curb my appetite a lot! Best of luck!

Answer

I dont think it's fair for him to miss out on something you want to do because you're letting your "diet" control your life. 
If you are actually eating healthy then you need to speak to a doctor. There is no way you're eating healthy every single day, on top of exercising, and only gaining weight. I personally think you should be more considerate with him. If he wants to go food tasting you should go with him, but have self control to not eat what you know you shouldnt.

Answer

I would think if he actually had a problem w your weight he wouldn’t be wanting to plan something like that and getting frustrated that you don’t want to go on a food tour (which sounds really fun). Like if anything he would be happy that you didn’t want to go if he had a problem with how you look idk

Answer

I wouldn't be with my fiance if he made rude ass comments on my weight and then suggested a thing that would make your issue worse... That's not okay

Answer

I personally feel that if a diet is restricting your way of life this much, it’s not healthy. Your mental health matters too, and eating oatmeal and chicken salads for the rest of your life doesn’t really sound like fun. The fact that he’s commenting on these things negatively too isn’t good. 
That being said, if this is something that means a lot to you, then maybe it’s best to stick with the original plan. Talk to him, tell him that this is important to you and that you’re not open to a food tour and it’s a limit that you’re not willing to go past.

Answer

Honestly I would be upset too. I think I would be more upset at the fact that you gained some weight and he isn’t attracted to you like he was or has made some “comments”. That’s pretty shitty on his part.

Answer

There is a chance he just wasn’t thinking when he suggested. A lot of guys don’t think the same way girls do about weight -unless they are also as disciplined obviously. Though I guess if he got mad when you didn’t want to do that that’s a separate problem. I’m not sure what the comments he’s made are so I’m not going to touch that because not all comments are “how dare he” I would sit down and talk with him. (I can’t remember if you said you have or not sorry) let him know how you’re feeling about your weight and how you need to stay on track for your own mental and physical health and that’s important to you.

Answer

Maybe you need to go to do a doctor to see if you have any type of medical issue that makes me you gain weight, I am not trying to call you a liar but if you were eating clean and working out you should not have gained so much weight. Other than that keep going on your fitness journey and try to be disciplined as possible.

Am I wrong to be upset?

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