I’m using the Audio to talk so if there’s any misspelling words or I don’t make since or I’m pissing camas or whatever I apologize.

OK so I am going to try to make this post very short I’ve been in a relationship for five years now I have been engaged for one year I have two kids with this guy and I have two of my own we live together but lately we have been arguing a lot he has a really bad addiction playing on the Xbox and when he’s not on the Xbox he very miserable because his mom during our arguments as well, he tells his mom everything and tells her everything. We fight for the smallest things. Yesterday we got into an argument because I was laughing and playing with the baby and he had said something I did not hear him I guess we both spoke at the same time and he told me with attitude if I had heard him, and I asked him did you hear me,? And then he told me that he was talking first and then I told him sorry but with the long <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.eve">eve</a> and that ticked him off and we started arguing and I got tired of arguing over small stuff so I told him I’m done it’s over car mom get your stuff and go and when he did call his mom he started talking all this shit about me telling her that I have him trapped and I’m using him and every time he’s broke that’s when I want to break things up with him and that he’s very miserable that he is very unhealthy for him you know that he doesn’t feel anything for me at all because usually he called his mom crying and this time he was very upset and he was not crying for the first time so he said that says a lot already after he hung up with her he try to fix things with me and I had told him like I can’t change my mind because I’m tired of arguing over the small stuff we did work try to work on our pros and cons and I continue working on my cons and he stopped I started waking up early in the morning to make him breakfast and coffee every day and he still continue doing him. He still plays on the Xbox nonstop he’s been sleeping in the living room and it’s been like that for the past four years he hardly helped me with the kids and when I do ask for help he gets mad he doesn’t really like to go out and he thinks that every guy wants me and that I want every guy as well he doesn’t trust me at all and when I try to put some thing on sexy he does ask me how many guys have I worn that with so he brings on my self-esteem a lot. usually when we do argue the next following day he acts like nothing happened he says I’m lazy and I have told him I’m not lazy I’m a full-time mom of four I clean I cook I wash his face mask every single day so that way it’s ready for the next day for when he goes to work I do his laundry I take care of the kids I feed the kids a shower the kids I do everything to make him happy and everything I do is not enough for him. He doesn’t give me enough attention or love. He makes me feel very unwanted and when I boost up my confidence he brings it back down as well. So yesterday after our argument we decided to break up he told me that he will still live here for a song as I need him and if I do find someone else I just let him know so that way he can go and that he was so take care of me and support me you know because he does love me and does care for me and he doesn’t want to leave he doesn’t want to fully lose me he wants to still be there for me and he was telling me that that he is staying because he wants to and because I’m not forcing him to stay and that is his choice I do love him and I do care for him as well but like I had told my brother last time that I love him but not in that way I love him because he has a father of my children and he’s always been there for me through thick and thin and he’s always backed me up but he doesn’t do his part at home and when I do again ask for help he makes it into a big deal he picks up the smallest things to argue with me and anything I do or anything I say is always a fight but then he tells me I need to open up more and communicate better and when I do and I speak my mind it’s a big problem it always turns into an argument so I feel like in this relationship I walk on eggshells for me not to upset him and I have to be very careful with my words as well. I honestly do not know what to do and my brother tells me that he went to manipulate me with his words for him to keep me here and I am afraid to lose him but I feel deep down inside that is best for us to break up and for me to move on with my life and just find myself and focus more on my kids. I sometimes feel like I’m trapped he has me where he wants me and if it’s not his way it’s another issue and he always says it’s my way but in reality it’s really his way I do see everything that goes on but I act like I don’t see anything and I’m just afraid to lose them I really am but I don’t know what I want and I’m very confused to the point where sometimes I just want to like blow my brains out to just put an end to this because I cannot make up my mind my thoughts are just everywhere and I’m just scared I’m scared to be a single mom again especially having two more kids you know I was a single mom for so many years until I met him and it’s just I don’t know what to do I really don’t at all and he’s always talking bad about me when we argue he throws shit at me he makes me feel very low and tells his mom the worst things about me and I’m not even like that you know I’ve always been loyal to him and I’ve always cooked for him I’ve always made sure he was well taken care of as well and not once has he says I don’t know it’s just a lot. I do try to be the best girlfriend/fiancé/mother and everything I do seems like it’s not enough for him and I stop tripping on him about him playing on the Xbox I don’t mind him playing on the Xbox anymore and like I really do not care if that’s the only thing that’s going to make him happy then it’s OK because I mean that we’re not really going to be arguing because he’s busy playing you know so I let it be but at the same time I do want love I do want affection I want to tension I want to be held I wanna like be like I want to feel like he showing me off to the world you know I’m when I do ask him if he wants to go out like a list of the market with me is like he doesn’t really want to because he wants to stay home playing and it’s like you know it sucks I feel lonely and I feel like a single mom still so if you guys can please give me advice or anything no need to feel like you have to be nice or beer go around the bush just be straightforward and what you guys think and we what would you guys do in my position I would really appreciate the honesty. I’m going crazy and I do not know again what to do and I just wanna be happy again I really do