I don't know what to do. We've been together for 4 years, living together for 3.5, got engaged last year... Our relationship is and always has been serious. Over the following issues I'm thinking of calling off the engagement and breaking up with him. I need advice.

As any couple we've had ups and downs. I've lost my trust in him because he keeps lying to me. I don't think my trust in him can ever be restored.

Problems:

1. He keeps lying about porn. He knows I am completely okay with him watching porn. I try to satisfy him as much as I possibly can, but I understand that he sometimes prefers to do it himself. To me that has always been normal and okay. He denied it for 4 years! Despite me catching him a few times. He finally confessed to me that he watches it often and promised to tell me so I don't accidentaly catch him again. Well, since I've caught him again multiple times and he keeps lying about it. I feel manipulated. Like please tell me hey don't come in the bedroom for 20 minutes, I don't want to see it only for him to come up with an excuse like I was just scratching my balls... or just lock the door. I'll get the hint I just don't know why he is still lying. He doesn't have a get caught fetish, it's obvious he is uncomfortable getting caught. But he keeps lying about ever watching.

2. Ever since day 1 we've made a rule about no gossiping about our partner or relationship to anyone in any way. Like no matter what we should always speak highly of the other or say nothing at all. Our problems are our only. Well, even though he was the one suggesting it, and would leave a relationship if the other person broke the promise, I found his text history with a friend. He called me names, told his friend about our sex life, told his friend how he can't wait to break up with me. Even though the texts were 2 years old, i doubt he stopped talking shit about me, just got smart and erased them. We have full access to eachother's phones and computers it's not like I went and did something illigal within our relationship. He has broken our #1 rule and I haven't confronted him yet.

3. He brags about watching porn to his friend. Which is why I find the whole situation weird. They comment on porn girls and share porn videos in their chat. I doubt all guys do that, it's probably their thing, but for him to act one way with his friend and completely another way to me for the same thing, I feel lied to and stupid. He keeps telling me he is embarassed, but why does he talk about it with his friend? I feel like if anyone should know about your sex life it's your fiance and not some friend.

4. Whenever I ask him if he'll say anything bad about me in front of others he acts like it's the greatest sin in the world and he would never, despite me CLEARLY seeing the messages.

Any thoughts? I am so lost. I've worked so hard for this relationship, but I can't be lied to. It's something I can't forgive. I am leaving, just wanted to hear some encouragement.