For some reason I never feel extremely turned on by my boyfriend. I love him and he’s so sweet, but I feel weird that I get turned on by other men that possess a more dominant energy. We started this relationship with him saying himself to be a sadistic dominant and I am a masochist, but he just seems way more masochistic than what he says. When he’s acting dominant, it doesn’t feel genuine and I’m not affected by his words or actions. I can’t find it in myself to trust him to be truly dominant.

Like, I want a hard & soft dom, but he’s only soft-dominant so I’m missing that “being controlled” element in our sexual life.

Are there any other masochists on here in a relationship with another masochist? What was your solution?

Sorry if this all sounds weird, this is my first time opening up talking about bdsm to others.