-story time

Guy “John” and I used to talk like 7 months ago, all we did was make out but for some reason I just never went further than that.

When we stopped talking it was because I was going through some family stuff and just couldn’t take everything so I kicked him out one night.

Unfortunately “John” is best pals with my best pals and turned out that we would see eachother quite frequently

After I kicked him out, a few months later all of our friends were chilling and an air bnb with us and we had a steamy moment in one of the rooms when everyone got up to get food.

———-

Shortly after that non spoken moment I met “Shawn” and we hit it off right away the only thing I wasn’t aware of was that “Shawn” and “John” were bff’s - I had NOOO IDEA -

I ended up going all the way with Shawn but it was 😔 not very good.

And to this day we are still talking

I just feel like we can’t connect on an emotional level, like I can’t TALK to him yk?

———

I drove “John home yesterday after we were all hanging out with our friends and he got my to park the car and wanted me to give him head and a “special message” and he said the deal would go both ways...

When I tell you how badly I actually wanted to just kiss him...

I know this is awful

But I told him NO

And went home....

—- the thing is, last night alone I talked about more real stuff and actual deep conversations with “john” than I every have with “Shawn” and yeah.. I don’t know what to do