So from 13-18 I have 4 situations happens that I didn’t really consent to. The first was when I had just turned 13 I had a crush on my brothers friend who was 18. He took advantage of the situation and forced my hand in his pants. I freaked out because I had no interest in that stuff so I pretty much completely cut him off. I know that’s not super bad at all though. When I was 15 I was interested in a guy and when I went over to his house he forced me to do a lot. His hands in my pants. He came on the outside of my vagina, honestly couldn’t tell if he went in or not. Grabbed my hair and shoved my head down and made me do stuff to him. Tried to force me down and go inside me but he could tell I was about to start screaming so he let me go. I told him no about everything. I was too scared to ride in the car with him so I walked home 3 miles in 100 degree weather and told my friend. She called me a liar and said if I originally had a crush on him it couldn’t be considered forcing me to do anything. Then when I was 17 I had a boyfriend and he would force me to do stuff in public places like bathrooms and changing rooms and even a lake that other people were swimming in. I’ve always been terrified of making a scene and he knew that. I would tell him no multiple times till he made it clear he wouldn’t allow me to leave until we did something. Then when I was 18 I had super bad depression and would drink. Well I was friends with this guy. And we sometimes would sleep in the same bed. I trusted him fully. I was friends with him for years. One morning after drinking I was up with his hands in my pants. I assumed maybe I moved in my sleep or mumbled and maybe he thought I was awake. I let it go that time and didn’t even mention it because I was embarrassed. Well after drinking again one night I went to his place and fell asleep. I woke up to him doing stuff to me and I was too scared to even move or let him know I was awake. He was taking my hand and giving himself and handjob with it and putting his pre cum inside me down there and in my mouth and he was playing with my boobs. I was trying to slightly move so he would stop thinking I was waking up. Didn’t work so eventually I just acted like I woke up and didn’t even notice. I was scared to mention it there so I just left and texted him about it. He said he assumed I was okay with it and that he wouldn’t do it again. I was stupid and believed it. So one night while we were all drinking this guy was making me super uncomfortable and the one guys said to come with him because he didn’t trust the guy there. I did and he did it again. I blocked him on everything after. I’ve always thought it was my fault.. getting myself in stupid situations and being overly trusting. Or that I’m being dramatic. And it’s hard because now I barely trust anyone. And I’ve never told anyone. Am I over reacting? I feel like it’s just been eating at me for years. I’m now 20. I’ve never been to therapy for any of it.