Emotionally Exhausted

Every time I post about my stepdaughter whom I’ve raised from a baby I get a ton of hate and backlash but I don’t care anymore. I am so exhausted physically, mentally, and emotionally. I am the only mother my stepdaughter has ever had and she treats me like complete trash. FYI, I don’t refer to her as my stepdaughter normally. I consider her my daughter. I’m only referring to her that way for the sake of this post.

I just feel done and I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like my stepdaughter has not accepted me into her life and she never will. I know I am not a bad mom. I’m not saying I’m perfect but I’m definitely not bad. I am a SAHM so my entire life revolves around my kids. I cook and clean and do all the housewife stuff. And the rest of my time is spent trying to make my kids happy. My biological daughter is happy as can be but my stepdaughter acts like nothing I do is right or is good enough. No matter how hard I try she constantly has a problem with me.

If I spend hours doing activities she wants to do at the end of the day she still complains that I only let her do 4 of the 5 activities she wanted and acts like she had a bad day. She lies to her dad and tells him I don’t do things and he knows that isn’t true because he’s already spoken to me and even seen pictures/videos of our activities from the day. She hates me parenting her. She doesn’t want to be told to do anything or corrected by me no matter how nicely I do it. I know it seems like I’m just a pushover but I absolutely am not. I have very consistent and firm rules for my kids and not following the rules isn’t tolerated. I just choose to enforce my rules calmly but firmly.

She never thanks me for anything but makes huge deals out of other people doing the exact same things for her. She will rave about her dads cooking and thank him repeatedly but refuses to say thank you to me and is constantly complaining. She doesn’t speak to me when I try to ask her questions about things; how she is feeling, a schoolwork question, a silly question, etc. I will allow her to do something special and she will thank her dad and when he tells her it was my idea (which she already knows) she will just look at me with a mean look.

No matter what she treats me like I’m a problem and I’m so beyond sick of it. I don’t understand it and i just want to give up. I’m tired of putting on a smile and my happiest voice 24/7 for none of it to matter. It’s exhausting. And yeah I know it isn’t all about me. Obviously I have tried to figure out how she is feeling and why but I have zero clue. So the only thing I have to give is my experience and my perspective because that’s all I know. My husband sees it and has tried to help but he doesn’t know what to do about it either and doesn’t know why she does it. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️