Having a rough go

I'm just not in a great place right now. My daughter is 16 months and I am pregnant with our second. My husband works and I stay home with my daughter. But its super isolating and depressing. All our parents work so they can't take our daughter during the day. And then even if they could, I dont really trust anyone to watch her.

My mother in law and I were really close, but she passed away a few years ago.

I don't really have a lot of friends. The friends I thought i had go out without me, and then send me pictures of their good time. Everyone knows all I do is stay home with my daughter.

All I ever wanted to be was a stay home mom, but im not cut out for it. And now I am extra stressed with the next one on the way. I feel like It will be twice as bad.

I have PPD, PPA, major depression and social anxiety. I have stopped taking my meds because I am pregnant and the doctors said that my baby may be born with withdrawal symptoms, so it scared me out of taking them. I don't want my baby to grow up with mental issues like me.

I dont know. Maybe I am just looking for a place to vent, or people to tell me they understand. Anyone I know says that being a mom is the most rewarding job, and I feel the opposite..