Gender disappointment help

So I'm currently only 13 weeks but I'm certain this baby is another boy...checked the nub theory etc now I know this isnt 100% however it is now in my head and i feel so gutted.

This will be my 5th boy I have always longed for a little girl every pregnancy got harder to accept now I love my boys more than anything but I have always craved for a little girl. I told myself when I found out I was pregnant that I wasnt going to have any more after this and I now feel totally gutted that I'll probably never have the little girl I always wanted.

Everyone around me thinks I'm being silly and yes part of me feels guilty but I just cant be excited at the idea of another boy the same blue items I have always done 😭 what is wrong with me why do I feel ei upset by this I'm trying so hard to come to terms with it but I just cant.