Idk how to get over it.

I’m finding myself incapable of letting my husband even look at me much less touch me or have sex with me after finding dozens and dozens of videos of mostly naked women on his phone. Obviously this is my own insecurity but I cant help it because I have 2 children. My stomach is soft and to big and my breasts are saggy from breastfeeding two babies and I don’t look like these tiny women with fake boobs and butts with tiny waists. Idk how to get over the fact that I’m not enough and that I don’t look like these women. Idk how to let him touch me when I know I’m not what he likes. Yes I am insecure. Yes it is normal for him to do that. That doesn’t fix my problem of not being able to get past it.

Edit

I really did love and accept myself before I saw what he actually loved. I have a history of not loving myself but recently I really was happy with myself. I just feel like this has stripped the self acceptance away and now I’m finding the little insecure self loathing teenager that I used to be.