Advice please?

Question

No judgement please,  I did post this in an additional section but I figured the more advice the more help possibly.
 So I was debating on posting this because I'm beating myself up. I have this eternally battle going on and need some advice. I know I should be over the moon because I an pregnant with my second,  when some couples are struggling to get pregnant. My husband and I have an a-freaking-mazing 3 year old daughter. We just found out yesterday we are having another girl. I cried once I was alone. I just can't help but feel bad that my husband will never have a son. (We're done after this). Being the most amazing guy I know he said he doesn't care as long as it is healthy. Oh and I should mention that he is the IV. So are we also killing his legacy. (my husband wasn't even sure if he wanted to have the V but at least he could've had the option). Any advice how to get over this? I know I'm pregnant and hormones and stuff. Lol
And to boot,  I know my father in law very well. My husband and I have known each other for a long time even before we started dating.. He's great inside and out. And I love him dearly. But he made a joking comment that its up to my brother in law to have the boys now. THAT kinda stung a little.

Answer

You’re putting way too much effort into overthinking this situation. Your children are your legacy, gender has nothing to do with it. What your father in law said was a joke, not a disappointment. I wouldn’t worry about it.

Answer

We are having our second girl and my husband is so excited to be a girl dad! He initially wanted a boy but he loves the activities he does with our daughter and knows how amazing it will be to have two little girls/sisters. If he is ok with it you should be too - and this legacy crap is outdated. Why can’t girls carry on a lineage?

Answer

Gender guilt is a big thing. I won’t lie and say I was sad that not one of my two boys was a girl, but you slowly get over it. It seems like you feel guilt more for your husband than anything; talk to him how you feel. That could ease your guilt a bit, too. 
And remember, his little guys were the deciding factor on the gender of the baby 😉
It’ll all be okay!

Answer

I understand the disappointment, but you basically have to change your way of thinking with it. "Continuing his legacy" is an outdated concept. Boy or girl, the child is still half of him. Legacy isn't in a name or gender, it's in the way he raises his children and the kind of father he is to them. It sounds like he already has a good legacy started.

Answer

In a years time, this will be a silly memory! But it’s real right now, and I get that. Would it be helpful to somehow include his first or middle name into the new baby’s name? Obviously, it’s not quite the same, but maybe best you can do. Gender guilt sucks, but it does get much better!

Advice please?

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