Stuck in an abusive relationship and I can't get out?

Question

My S/O is extremely emotionally abusive towards me. He freaks out about smallest details. He calls me a slut, a cunt, a bitch. Accuses me of cheating. Won't let me have any male friends. Makes me delete old photos (selfies) from years ago. Will ignore me for weeks if I do something he doesn't like. He also talks about wanting to hit me really hard during sex and wants to see me cry because it's "hot". He's done a complete google check on me and will make me go through and delete things he doesn't like, like old twitter accounts I made all the way back in high school (there's nothing bad on them)
I can't leave because I feel like when times are good, he is one of my best friends. He's the only person who is there for me to talk to. He's done romantic things for me no other boyfriend has... But that's only when times are good.
I'm scared. I love who he is when things are going well but he drives me insane when he gets this way. He is currently making me delete an old social media account I no longer have access to anymore and is refusing to talk to me until I do it. He knows I can't and told me to figure it out. He's also now threatening me with an intimate video the two of us took. I know it was stupid to do but it was before I knew this side of him.

I know I have to leave him. I just can't find the strength for some reason. I feel like I'll be leaving one of my best friends and it kills me. Please don't bash on me, I KNOW I HAVE TO LEAVE.

*sigh* I'm well aware he isn't my best friend, the point I was trying to get across is that I stick around for the good side to him. Unless you've been in this kind of relationship, I don't need you to tell how easy it is to leave, or to be making fun of me?! If you can't act like a mature adult on here then please just don't comment. I'm aware I need to leave, if you read what I wrote you would know. The point is on scared and he's been threatening me. They aren't excuses, I'm seeking help from women who have also been in this situation. If you have nothing nice to say don't say anything at all.

Answer

My ex was my best friend. Every time i threatened to leave him he would tell me i was a joke yo him and a slut and he never loved me and he blackmailed me with very personal stuff all the time. I stayed with him because i was afraid of being blackmailed and afraid of losing my "best friend"...well, let me just say youre best friend wouldnt do that to you. Hes a fuck boy. And you gotta grow some balls and tell him to GO AHEAD AND SHOW EVERYONE, IDGAF...lol

Answer

If you're living with him, STAY SAFE!! Find someone, friends, coworkers, women's shelter, family SOMEONE who you can leave an have a safe house with.

Any sort of web browsing for help needs to be done in incognito mode, or something similar to what chrome has.

Make an escape plan. Pack a bag of your essentials, electronics, paperwork, medicine etc. Leave while he's at work. When you do call the police, the person you're staying with and a trusted friend. Call if you stop for ANY reason whatsoever, it's important to leave a trail so everyone knows where you are that's there to help you.

When you arrive, call the police and file assault charges, or at the very least say that you have left an abusive situation and need help making sure that you won't go back.

DO NOT answer his phone calls or texts. In plain simple language say that his abuse is not OK and you're done with him. Permanently.

Keep it that way. If you still have personal items DO NOT go by yourself to pick them up, take a cop or a friend or both!!

NEVER EVER meet him in private or by yourself.

If you truly can't stay away, get into couples therapy and that's you're only meeting space, ALWAYS take a friend.

More likely than not this won't ever stop and will get worse over time. The "good times" are always the thought that leads you to going back and being abused even worse than before. Treasure the good moments but do not forget what has happened.

It will hurt, but you'll get through it. This is the same thing I had to do when I was 19 and with my parents. It was horrifying, it was hard to keep back the frightened hyperventilating or the hysterical laughter or just the happy tears that 19 years of abuse was almost over. I'm only in contact now because Oma is alive and I refuse to make her last decade miserable.

Please STAY SAFE!! Plan smart and stick to your guns!!

I shall pray to Freya that you will have the strength of a warrior that's need to escape this!

Answer

Most men like this do have a super sweet nice side otherwise women would never stay if they were horrible all the time. For your sake I hope you find the strength to leave, quickly. Nobody should be treated like that even if it's 'only sometimes'

Answer

Babe he is not you're best friend. He has issues.

Answer

Please leave.  I was in a similar situation, in fact it sounds like he is the exact same person I dated.  Get out.  He won't change, it won't get better.  Praying for you and please message me if you need any help or advice.

Answer

He is not your best friend. Someone who loves you would NEVER treat you that way. You need to leave him. From my own personal past experience and watching this happen to several friends, it's not going to get better. You can delete all those accounts and do every single thing he tells you to do and he will STILL find something to get mad about. People who act like that, both men and women, are insecure and childish and unlikely to change. There's no reason to stay in a relationship that makes you unhappy. Save yourself and one day you will find that person who treats you the way you should be treated and you'll wonder what you were thinking!

Answer

For the life of me I will never understand why a woman accepts a man that calls her out of her name smh. "A slut, a cunt, and a bitch"!!!?!?! AND you say he's your BEST FRIEND.  Where is your love of self?  Where is your self esteem?  If you're allowing a man to talk to you like shit, there's something very wrong and serious counseling is needed. You should be CHERISHED and loved on, not put down, not threatened. Please find some love for yourself because until you do, you're going to keep pulling in creeps that treat you like crap.

Answer

You can leave, stop making excuses.

Answer

Please for your own good and for your very life leave this man. It's a scary step, but if you do it will lead to much better things than if you stay. I pray god gives you courage to make this important step!

Answer

I'm here for you!!!!!

Stuck in an abusive relationship and I can't get out?

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