Hi guys.

Recently I've felt down and kind of subdued and I can't figure out why. I'll have very intense periods of feeling depressed for like 30 minutes a day. I've always had anxiety and manage it with natural meds/other things but this is different from how I normally feel. I'm good at managing my anxiety because I'm so used to it, but these feelings are really new.

I've had a hard time this year, a lot of change not only from this whole pandemic thing, but from a lot of other things as well. My father is an abusive alcoholic, and while I am an adult and don't live with him, he still affects me a lot. He left my family with no income and took my entire college fund, which places a lot more stress on me to finish.

I left my ex boyfriend and he stalked me and harassed me online for many months, which really took a toll for a while. I had a little problem with substance abuse but I recognized where I was heading and stopped pretty quickly.

There are a lot of lovely things in my life, I am blessed to be able to have some supportive family and attend a really good college. I also have a wonderful boyfriend that does a lot for me.

I was wondering if any of you have any suggestions for being stuck in this rut? I feel like an alien when I get in these moods and it sucks:/

Thank you!