Loneliness after breakup

This might be me rambling for a while so I apologize if this is hard to read. My situation is a little weird but basically I was hooking up with this guy from September to March and I caught MAJOR feelings. He was my first and I really really felt something for him. He was 10 years older than me (I was 21 when we started seeing each other) and he was experienced and kind to me and I just fell for him. I’m also a very insecure person. My super self conscious and i don’t really like myself, I deal with anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, all of that, so when I met this guy who would always tell me how beautiful I was or how amazing I was and just the fact that I had this person to talk to all the time, he really became a crutch. We talked everyday and I would tell him everything I was feeling and he made me feel better. He didn’t want a relationship but I just wanted him to like me so bad that I really would have done anything for him. We stopped seeing each other when COVID started amping up and he basically ghosted me because I moved away because I wouldn’t be able to have sex with him anymore. I haven’t really spoken to him since March but I still think about him everyday. I miss feeling like someone cared about me, I miss being close to someone, I miss feeling wanted. And I know its been so long since I’ve seen him and that I should be over it by now but I feel like I have no self confidence without him. I feel so alone and I just want him to tell me that I’ll be alright. And I know that I should be able to be alright by myself but I just don’t have that right now. Sorry for the rambling I just had to get out how I was feeling