So I recently figured out I’m Bi and not Pan(like I had been going back and forth for like two years) and since I’ve figured this out finally, I’ve been having these strong feelings I guess(?) of wanting to be in a relationship with a girl and I really don’t know why that is.

I did have strong feelings wanting to be in a relationship with someone but then once I figured things out, it’s more of I just want to be in a relationship with a girl. But I’ve never been in any kind of relationship(even tho I’m 19) and have no idea how I would even go about going I guess and finding a girlfriend?(that sounds so weird. Sorry!)

But see, not only am I scared of just being apart of a romantic relationship with someone and possibly really developing romantic feelings and attraction, I’m also afraid of maybe finding that maybe what I’ve been struggling to figure out since I was 13-14 years old, was all false and I don’t really have a attraction to women in that way even though I can see myself with not only a women but also a person that’s Non Binary.

I’m the type of person that has to experience something in order to be 100% positive about it. Other wise I have a lot of doubts even when it comes to my own feels at times(which sucks!).

But like I really feel I’m 100% Bi but this little voice in my head is like “but what if you aren’t Bi and you actually just find women attractive and have a strong appreciation for them? And you’ve been raised to accept everyone for who they are so that’s why you find not just men attractive?” And it’s so annoying because I can legit see myself possibly ya know kissing a girl and being intimate and feel comfortable with those thoughts(it’s the same level of comfortable was as I would feel for men and also non binary people too).

I don’t know why I’m feeling this way and don’t know why I’m still having doubts but wish the doubts would go away, and maybe I could just have enough courage to do something about my feelings about wanting to date. Ugh!