So I’m 19 and I’ve never been in a relationship, I’m in college so I’ve been living the hoe life for about a year now. There’s 2 guys involved so I’ll try to make it as short as I can.

I matched with this guy on tinder, he’s 21, in April and when I first started talking to him he said he was looking for friends or a relationship. When we finally met for the first time I felt instantly friend zoned and I was okay with that. We keep talking and he was super flirty so I figured that’s just how he is. As he started to get more comfortable with me I noticed he stopped the flirting and it was more as if we were just friends, and that’s all we were up until a couple weeks ago when we were in his car and we moved to the back and we had a make out sesh, then 2 weeks later, I ended up giving him head and then the week after we fucked for the first time (he was a virgin). Last night before we went to the back of his car (it’s always in his car lol) we were talking about one of his friends and how he was simping for a girl with a bf and to prove a point he asked the girl his friend was simping over on a date. He got the date but he canceled it before they met up bc he wasn’t interested in the girl or whatever but he was trying to prove a point that the girl wants a guy who “has his life together” (as he put it) and then he went on about how he got to where he’s at (he has a house and like 3 cars lol) without a “hoe” and he kept going on about how he doesn’t need a girl to make him successful. I just kinda agreed and we kept talking and then eventually moved to the back and when we were cuddling I could tell something was up (besides the obvious lol) and I asked him and he had said that he doesn’t wanna seem like THAT guy but when we fucked last week, he couldn’t stop thinking about it and how much he enjoyed it and how he keeps wanting to do it again. I mean my pussy is spectacular if i do say so myself 🤪 (this pertains to the second guy too) but I kept saying that everything he was feeling was normal. Anyways moving on to the second guy lol.

So this guy and I ALSO matched on tinder around mid June, but here’s the kicker, I hadn’t been using it for some time and the only reason I got on was bc I got a notification that someone super liked me, boy #2 (at the time he was 18, I was too but we both recently turned 19 me in July and him in September). We matched, we started talking. Initially he presented himself as this super nice, very respectful guy and we would be constantly snapping back and forth. It was mainly sexting but we would also talk about serious things (like mental health, childhood traumas, things that were going on, etc.) and I got really close to him and I now consider him a close friend. The first time we saw each other, we fucked in the back of his car. Second time, I was being evacuated from my university bc of hurricane Laura and we were in the same city so he came to the hotel they had put me in and we fucked there. (Lemme explain, we go to the same university just different branches but I plan on transferring to the main branch (where he’s at) next year (bc of my major not bc of him lol). We have the same hometown though so that’s how we matched on tinder. Boy #1 lives about 20 minutes from my university and just over an hour from my house) The thing with boy #2 is that he’s so good at sex, we’re both the same person lol. We have similar majors (both engineering just different things), similar values, most of the same kinks, and our sexual chemistry is amazing. This man makes me cum so many times and it’s by far like top tier best sex I’ve ever had. The only down fall is that he says he’s not ready for a relationship and at first I was like okay whatever we’re just friends anyway so idc that much about that and if he really wanted a relationship with someone then he needs to figure that on his own but then he goes on and says that if he was ready for a relationship then he would want one with me (I found this as typical fuckboy behavior). And the thing is we both said that we can fuck other people bc we’re not exclusive (he said he still wants to be daddy lolll) but I just feel bad talking to boy #1 yk. I just kinda wanted some input on this lol. Maybe the hoe life isn’t for me lol. Idk anymore. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk :)