How to get back to yourself after baby?

Question

Hi all.. Just looking for a bit of advice here.. It's been 1 year since my son has been born and this year has been hard on me mentally, physically and emotionally. My marriage also has suffered unfortunately. I'm literally looking for how you ladies pulled yourself together after having a baby. I live for this little guy and I really just don't know who I am anymore.. I just feel like a mom. I don't even feel like a wife to my husband and it's going on 5yrs of marriage.. Is this what it will be like if we have another kid.. How do you all take care of yourselves?

Answer

I would suggest, u ask yourself if you're happy? Is this marriage what u want forever?, How I got back in shape I purchased a treadmill, spine bike and dumbbells (in case I wouldn't be able to go to the gym) I was determined and consistent, I would pick a workout in ytube(to save time) woke up at 6am everyday workout for an hour, and 15min at night.my diet in the beginning was strictly no dairy,no white bread ,no sugar, for 3weeks I was only eating eggs and tomato then I started to mix things up half of brown bread, eating smaller portions, I realized you can eat anything u want just smaller portions.

Answer

By a year you should be able to carve out some time for yourself, I was exactly the same with my first. I started working out at home, eating well and I got a job a couple evenings a week to get me out of the house without either of them.
You might try getting a sitter and having a date night or weekend away if there’s someone you trust like a family member. to try reconnect with hubby no doubt he’s feeling crappy to if ur marriage has suffered. It’s so hard on relationships this child rearing business! 
Whatever you do make sure to start looking after yourself a bit and the rest really will fall into line easier. Get some good endorphins flowing 👍

Answer

Make time for you. My kids are good sleepers so my time is when they go to bed, I relax on the couch with a TV show or a book or some cross stitch. If your baby isn’t sleeping so well arrange a time with your husband to let you get away, like my husband has agreed that I get to take an hour every Saturday morning to go on a jog by myself, it is so refreshing.
As for your marriage, I’m kinda stuck there too. We had big plans to start doing regular date nights earlier this year then we had to cancel our second date because the baby got super sick, and then covid hit and we didn’t feel comfortable having a sitter. Our kids are currently back in daycare and we can arrange overlapping lunch breaks so we’re trying to pick 1 day per week where we have a lunch date.

Answer

I wish I knew. I am almost four months postpartum, and was thrilled yesterday when I accomplished something that wasnt directly for baby. Honestly right now everything is still feed baby, hold baby, sleep when baby sleeps, wash baby's nappies, feed baby...
The biggest thing I have found for me is walking, I go for two to three walks a day, and sure, baby is there in the pram, but is still really me time. I focus on the beauty surrounding me, and my own thoughts. I intentionally think non baby thoughts while walking. You could try journaling for a couple minutes each day, as another way to be grounded in yourself as an individual for a minute.
I also second the suggestion to institute weekly date night. You dont even have to leave home, just put baby to bed and have an intentional romantic evening. As children we went to bed a little early every Friday night, and knew we had to stay, because mommy and daddy were having their date. It was their special night to watch a movie, eat frozen fancy food, and talk. (We lived in the boondocks with no chance of babysitters, but it works in Covid world too.)

Answer

Same girl. I don’t even know.

Answer

I'm gonna comment to follow because I've been a bit the same. I used to get my nails done (no money spare atm) and that would make me feel so much more femine and it was somthing for me, used to keep up with my blue hair too but now it looks dip dyed my roots are so long. We might both need a hobby but who has time for that with a one year old 😣

How to get back to yourself after baby?

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