He doesn't get it...

I'm now almost 4 months pp...I love my girl so much, and I love my husband. I have never had an issue bonding with my baby, but I don't feel like myself anymore. I took a step back from my management position before birth, then we moved to be near family, and the new location I'm working at doesn't have room for me now that I want to manage again...so though I do enjoy my flexible hours now, I don't feel that I contribute much.

My husband is bipolar, unmedicated. He works away from home 3 days a week. We get along amazingly when he's gone. We fight a lot when he's home. He can't understand my feelings of loss for my pre baby life. I have completely shut out my close friends because they distanced a little when I got pregnant, as none of them are moms. Therefore, I can't trust anyone to talk to and I don't want my mom to judge my husband so I can't talk to her either. My husband tells me, what will a doctor tell you that you don't know? Our finances are a mess and I can't afford insurance anymore, so going to a doctor isn't even an option. He doesn't help around the house at all now, only helps with the baby when I work. I'm in a funk that I can't find my way out of. I try to talk to him but i get emotional and it makes him upset with me. I just needed to say all of this...get it out of my head. Thank you for listening!