Struggling BAD with Upcoming Hysterectomy

Eliza

Stage 2 Prolapsed Uterus.

Partial Hysterectomy scheduled in 19 days.

Hes taking my uterus, cervix and tubes.

At 35, hes leaving my ovaries (thank God) so no hormones or early menopause.

I've had problems since, forever. Periods were always horrible. Had so much trouble conceiving. I was blessed with 2 beautiful boys (I thank God so much!) and due to my age, had called it quits on baby making. I punched my clock and tapped out.

I am a single, divorcè now. After trying to find the root of the never ending pelvic pain (amongst other things) we've been brought to a stage 2 prolapse.

My doc advised accordingly. Told me i could try pelvic floor therapy for a few months. Told me repeatedly, "you DONT have to do this." But I am a regular at the gym, do kegels regularly and try to mostly stay healthy. If my lifestyle couldn't prevent it, it certainly isn't going to fix it. So I've just decided to move forward and look forward to burning all the tampons under my sink.

The problem is, there's a psychological aspect im struggling with. I am, in no way, shape or form, one of those women who believe; "Motherhood is a woman's purpose."

Thats not me. At all.

Yet, I cant shake this feeling of being "broken". Somehow, I dont feel "whole". I'm struck with this feeling of being unworthy and as a single woman, undesirable. My confidence and self worth is, shot.

Logically, I know. But this feeling just won't leave me.

Maybe its the death of my youth that I'm mourning and not the death of my uterus.

Maybe its both.

Anyway, I'd love to hear your stories and advice. Especially if anyone ever felt this way. I'm the first in my circle so while they are supportive, none of my people can relate. 😔

I need the support of you beautiful women ❤