Hello everyone. I'm sharing this anonymously because I'm very embarrassed and I don't have any friends to talk to this about (literally I have no friends). And well, I would like to date, however, it's very hard to me to find someone. And I've even tried talking to guys and being the one to initiate because I've been told some guys like that, but that seems to scare guys away. And it makes me feel embarrassed and humiliated in a sense because I mean I just don't deal good with rejection (I know I have to come to accept it but I'm working on that). I even recently joined tinder and I used to be on POF, but I find that I swipe and either the guys I match with never message me or they message me and want sex. I'm tired of just having casual sex and I'm not interested in that. Actually I never have been, this is going to sound really bad and perhaps you all will think "Wow this chick really lacks self esteem, self respect and pride", but I've only had sex with the guys whom I've dated because I felt lonely and because I thought that was the only way to retain a guys attention and it made me feel like I had their attention and was desired even if it was for a short period of time. But, I just want to find a companion. Someone who can sit down and have a nice conversation with me and whom we can get to know each other and just spend some quality time together. I know some girls at work that are dating or have boyfriends and it seems like those guys go out of their way to please them, plan nice dates, even just call or text them to just check how they're doing and how their day is going. Idk, maybe I'm just being dumb, but idk how to meet a nice guy. One that doesn't just have sex on his mind the second he asks me out.