I know I'm just being hormonal but I don't really have anyone I can vent to.

I'm booked in tomorrow to start my induction, they're putting tape on my cervix and the day after they'll start the drip and break my waters. I'm scared. I really don't want to be induced but I'm very anxious and I don't want to say no in case something happens to the baby (being induced for medical reasons).

I messaged the newborn photographer to confirm our appointment for next week as my first daughter got her newborn photos at 5 days old and got really bad baby acne from 7 days old until like 8 weeks and nothing helped. The photographers kids were sick last week so her appointments have all been pushed back and the earliest she can get us in is the 29th September instead of our original date of 21st September. I know that's not that late but all I can think is that I'll have a pimply, wide awake 2 week old instead of a tiny, sleepy fresh newborn.

My toddler is also being extra emotional because she can probably tell that I'm extra emotional and I'm trying so hard to enjoy our last day as "just us" but I can't deal with the tantrums and she's just wanting me to sit on the floor with her which is pretty uncomfortable at this point. She's currently napping on top of me and all I want to do is finish packing my hospital bag.

I'm in a rotten mood and when I try to tell my husband what's wrong he just says it'll be okay/everything will work out/it'll be fine. Which he thinks is reassuring but it just feels like he's trying to shut down my concerns but then he complains that I'm not telling him what he can do to make me feel better. At this point I don't know what will make me feel better and I kind of just want to go curl up in the bottom of the shower and cry because nothing is working out how I had hoped and I'm so hormonal and over being pregnant 😭 I'm not even reassured by meeting the baby soon because I'm scared of juggling two under two and with my first I was back in hospital at 9 days postpartum with mastitis that'd turned into sepsis and I'm just so overwhelmed trying to plan for every worst case scenario that could happen so it doesn't impact my toddler or baby too much. I'm absolutely overthinking everything but I can't make it stop 😭