(F22) (M26)

My boyfriend of 2 years is ready for marriage but I'm just not ready yet. The passed couple of weeks my boyfriend has been planning a little nature trip for us. He said that he is going all out for this trip. I offhandedly said he better not propose because he knows where I stand on that topic. (we have talked about it MANY times before and my answer has not changed). later the next day he confessed that the reason for the trip was for him to propose and that he already had a ring. (He's been saying he had a ring for awhile now. I always thought he was playing with me). He told my cousin (F17) that he was going to propose and she was helping him plan it and he also told his friends.

Now don't get me wrong, I do want to get married someday. We've looked at rings before but more of just passing through the mall and taking a gander and saw ones I like. I got a couple dozen things saved on Pinterest that I liked I feel like that doesn't mean I want to get married. I feel like it's okay to dream right? Doesn't mean you want to get married any time soon. I know that I have made myself very clear that im not ready yet.

We live with my parents so we have never lived together just the two of us. We have been looking for a place of our own but everything is so pricey. Also we have no money for wedding. No saving because we are trying to get his debt paid off. My boyfriend was once engaged before, but ended because she cheated. I feel like he'd be more hesitant to get married since it ended so badly. That doesn't seem to be case...

I feel like both people should be 100% onboard when it comes to getting married/ engaged. (Not a surprise) He said that him proposing doesn't mean we are getting marry right away, we can be engaged as long as I want. (I don't care it's still marriage). He told me that no matter what he is still gonna ask knowing that I am going to say no. Which makes very uncomfortable that I am going to be put on the spot. Honestly I have been dreading going on this trip and I am running out of time.(october 16th) All I have been thinking about is how am I gonna react if he asks? I don't want to impulsively say yes, but on the other hand I don't want to hurt him by saying no. (I feel like relationships aren't really the same after a failed proposal) I'm feeling very pressured to be 100% honest. I just feels like he isn't respecting my wishes.

I do love my boyfriend very much but WE are not ready yet!

Would really like some advice here...

*Sorry about the bad grammar*

Any questions I will answer them as they come up.