At a very young age I believe I was sexually assaulted. But truthfully I don’t know. I was 14 at the time and I was talking to a guy a year older than me. I never got guys attention truthfully so this was the first guy that gave me some sort of attention. I felt special. We did certain things at the time I was comfortable with. It wasn’t sex but it was sexual stuff. Until one day he asked if I was ready for sex over text and I agreed at the time. We picked a day and time and met up. He took me down to this field near a library and busy road. Proceeded to undress me. At that point I didn’t want to go through with it anymore and expressed to him I didn’t want to. He kept pressuring me saying that is wasn’t sex and that we were going to make love and that if I loved him I would go through with it. I started crying and trying to get my clothes back. He kept taking my clothes away from me and saying the same thing over and over again as I proceeded to cry and say no. Eventually he said that if I gave him 5 minutes he would stop and I couldn’t keep fighting him and I gave in still scared. A minute of letting him do what he wanted (penetration was involved) I told him to stop but he kept going saying it wasn’t 5 minutes. A few more minutes went by and I said stop again and he gave up. Moments later my mom called saying she was on her way to come get me so I got dressed and walked down to the library locked myself in a bathroom stall and cried. Never told anyone until I was 16. It was a close guy friend of mine at the time who just proceeded to tell me I was being dramatic and is like every other teen girl who just wants attention and that I actually wanted it. That had hurt me so much. Because of that happening to me for years I was afraid to talk about it or even let a guy touch me or have sex because I was scared that if I said no they would get mad or hurt them or something. I didn’t have consensual sex again until I was 19 with my current bf. I’m 20 soon to be 21. I don’t know I never talked about it honestly. My bf knows of the story and he’s never made me feel bad about it. He’s always cared for me. If I said stop or no or idk if I could do this he would instantly stop and tell me that it’s ok. I just want people to hear me for once (besides my bf) and not judge me. And know that your not alone. That someone out there will listen.