FTM here with a 2.5 wk old boy. Holy lord has this been difficult. I knew having a baby would be hard but I feel so incompetent and exhausted. I find myself crying all the time and questioning my ability to do this at all. My husband went back to work last week - and is working 12 hour days in manual labor. My MIL and mom help during the weekdays. But I’m finding myself so angry and upset over how unequal the parenting roles are right now. I know that I’m the primary feeder and I need to pump and take meds for my c-section recovery - so I have a crazy timed out schedule and the baby to tend to. But it just irks me that my husband doesn’t have nearly the same responsibilities - that he has free time and down time - and that he seems so exhausted when I wake him up (very very rarely) to help me with feedings. Like I have to practically schedule when I can poop- let alone shower or brush my damn teeth!

We tried a block schedule where I sleep 10-2am and then husband sleeps 2am-on but 2 days in I woke up at 1:30am to a screaming crying baby and a husband who was dead asleep and not even registering that the baby was crying. I just feel like I’m going to lose my marbles. I knew a newborn would be hard - but I didn’t expect to be so gobsmacked by the partner inequality at this stage. I’m hopeful it will get better and know this is a really hard phase but it just seems to be too much. 😩