I hate this!

I've been so depressed and moody since I got diagnosed with gd. I feel like a horrible mother and I'm always hungry. I feel like I can't eat anything and be full and not have my levels sky rocket. Its so hard to keep them between 60 and 96 and feel full. I never want to be pregnant again because of this... I'm so happy I get my baby boy but this is just too much for me to handle. I always forgrt my tester at home so I either eat and don't test or don't eat and feel sick. I just needed to vent to someone that understands a little bit because my boyfriend acts like its not a big deal and I don't know maybe he's just acting like that to not stress me out or if he realky doesn't care. Ive been trying to eat healthy and not go over board but its so hard to not feel like I'm failing my little man.