SAHMs...how do you cope?

Question

I have a wonderful life. I have a hardworking, loving husband and a beautiful little boy. I am very blessed. I am just struggling recently with a lack of... fulfillment? I think. My husband gets to go to work every day, he's got a career that he worked hard for and always dreamed of having. He plays in a tennis league and loves it. I...take care of our home and our son. My husband has said many, many times that all I have to do is say the word and he'll watch our son while I go so something. I just don't know what to do. I don't have any hobbies, I don't have a field I'm passionate about to study or work in, none of my friends live close. I feel like I'm mom, wife, housekeeper. Don't get me wrong, I have no regrets. I love being a SAHM. But I want to feel like...myself again. I want to have fun, learn, make money, get fit, SOMETHING. I feel like I'm missing something. How do y'all deal with that feeling? Do you feel it? What should I do?

Answer

I could’ve written that myself! And it makes it so much harder with covid!

Answer

I loved it once I started working out. Do you workout? Yoga, Exercise class, pottery class, painting? Anything.
Check with parks and recreation. They usually have things available.

Answer

I don’t have any words of advice but I wanted you to know that I feel this soooooo much. Every. Single. Word.   
You are not alone!

Answer

I want to give you the biggest hug & say YES YES YES! I can relate SO much. I had a really fulfilling career before becoming a SAHM & while I wouldn’t change my choice, the transition was/is hard. I knew I needed something, but what?!? I didn’t know. 
I know you say you don’t have any areas of interest, but I’d say just start somewhere & don’t be afraid to change your mind & try something different. Maybe volunteering, studying or learning a skill or topic, a hobby you’ve never tried, apps to meet friends, a part time job. 
For me once I took the pressure of “finding the right thing” off and just taking baby steps towards what I might want to do, it’s like it fell into my lap. 
Currently I’m working on developing a program for parents to teach their kids financial wisdom. With a background in finance, a passion for the topic & now as a parent it just made sense. I have no clue how or if I’ll ever be able to monetize it or reach a wide group of people, but for now it’s giving me such purpose and fulfillment just to have goals & challenges again outside of motherhood. 
If you ever want to talk more, feel free to reach out. I big push for me was finally having a friend who could really relate & talk to about it.

Answer

I feel this so much. I have a 19 month old and a 3 month old. I work in a fast-paced healthcare facility and I love being in the medical field.  After the 3 month old was born, I cut my full time hours to just my scheduled weekends (e/o weekend) and I feel the same way you do now.  I feel like I’m just this frumpy old housewife!  I don’t go out because my kids aren’t old enough to wear masks.  I can’t do many of my hobbies because I have the kids all day and they require me to be out of the house. At night I clean up and get everything ready for the next day.  I feel like I’m so much more than just ‘mom’ and it’s frustrating to feel like that.
Idn I think I’m gonna pick a hobby to try that can be done from home.  I really like candles, so I’m thinking of getting into making my own.  Maybe do it at night after the kids are asleep for some me time/

Answer

I was there last year. My husband was making all the money and I was staying home with out newborn, which is exactly what I wanted to to at the time, but it just felt... lazy. 
First things first, put aside the “rules.” Like, who makes up the rule that we have to have a spotless house? Or that we have to contribute financially? Or that since we stay at home, everything should be perfect for us? Stupid “rules.” 
Even if you aren’t struggling with any of that really, it can be not so fulfilling. I decided that I was good with kids, mine turned out fine so far, so I decided to watch another. He’s older than mine by 18 months, so it gives me something to “do.” We’re potty training, and eating new foods, and learning new words and going on trips. I’ve even researched some (age appropriate) “homeschooling” and we’ve started working on that and really building a day-to-day structure that makes me feel almost like a teacher. After I was comfortable with those two together, I wanted more. So, now I pick up and drop off two school aged siblings. 
Maybe try a craft? Look on Etsy, there’s a market for everything. Soaps, jars, DIY projects. 
Try everything until you find something!

SAHMs...how do you cope?

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